Most leaders believe they’re good at building relationships. Yet many quietly wonder why some teams are hard to connect with or why some conversations stall. The truth is, even well-intentioned leaders can unintentionally exclude people—not out of malice, but because workplaces are built around “neuronormative” expectations of how people should think and communicate.
In many organizations, quick responses, eye contact, verbal brainstorming, and reading unspoken cues and body language are assumed to be the markers of engagement and competence. But what if someone processes more slowly, avoids eye contact to focus, or prefers written input? Without realizing it, leaders may label these colleagues as disengaged or resistant when in fact, they’re just wired differently.
How This Feels on Both Sides
For leaders, it’s frustrating when the connection to their team feels one-sided. They might leave meetings feeling they’ve tried to include everyone but they still sense hesitation or an unwillingness to participate from some team members. Over time, that can create self-doubt on behalf of the leader: Am I missing something? Are my efforts working?
For those with different cognitive styles, the experience is even more isolating. They may feel unseen, pressured to adapt, or exhausted from masking their natural ways of thinking. Some stop contributing altogether, not because they don’t care, but because the environment signals that only one style is welcome.
These dynamics quietly erode trust, and trust is the foundation of every strong relationship.
Why Neuroinclusion Is the Missing Piece
Neuroinclusion flips the script. Instead of asking people to fit a rigid mold, it asks leaders to expand how they engage and design conversations. It’s not about special treatment; it’s about building psychological safety so more voices can be heard and more potential can surface.
When leaders adopt a neuroinclusive mindset, they recognize there is no “average” brain. Each person has a “jagged profile” of strengths and preferences; some excel at systems thinking but need time to process, while others thrive in small groups but struggle to participate in a fast-paced meeting with many people.
By designing for this natural variation, leaders unlock broader insight, stronger collaboration, and deeper trust.
Small shifts make a big difference:
- Share agendas in advance so that reflective thinkers can prepare.
- Offer different ways to contribute, whether spoken, written, or visual.
- Normalize pauses after questions to give people space for processing.
- Use visual tools to organize complexity and create shared clarity.
These practices don’t just help neurodivergent team members. They make collaboration healthier and more effective for everyone.
A New Kind of Leadership Advantage
Neuroinclusion isn’t just an equity issue; it’s a performance advantage. Diverse cognitive styles help teams navigate complexity, challenge assumptions, and innovate faster.
Leaders who create environments where all thinking styles are welcome build deeper trust, spark creativity, and encourage cross-function partnerships.
However, awareness alone isn’t enough. Leaders need to practice these skills, integrate them into their daily relationship-building practices, and communicate their importance across the organization.
Turning Insight into Practice
At Lead the Pack Consulting, we’ve developed a suite of BRM leadership skills workshops to help leaders put relationship management into action. These interactive sessions go beyond theory: we explore how trust and behavior shape relationships, teach practical methods for inclusive collaboration, and guide leaders in designing conversations and meetings where everyone can contribute fully.
By investing in these skills, leaders don’t just avoid exclusion — they create workplaces where difference drives results.
If you’ve ever felt that, despite your best intentions, some conversations stall or team members withdraw, neuroinclusion may be the missing link. Our BRM leadership skills workshops can help you strengthen trust, embrace diverse perspectives, and build the kind of relationships that fuel impact and innovation.
Learn more about our workshops here
2025 Leadership BRM Courses
Leadership Education, BRM Training, Courses, Coaching and Consulting
Lead the Pack Consulting specializes in business relationship management (BRM) leadership development. Our years of experience in Leadership Management Education, Training, Courses, Coaching and Consulting help us support business relationship management teams and provide them with the leadership skills needed to overcome their challenges. We have provided leadership coaching to business relationship managers, leaders, and teams in a variety of organizations and industries. Since 2013, we have been a registered provider of business relationship management certification workshops and coaching.
Our coaches, Elka Schrijver and Peter Lijnse, have both won the prestigious Arnie Award from the Business Relationship Management (BRM) Institute for their work to embody, enhance, and promote business relationship management knowledge throughout the global BRM community. They have been actively involved in the BRM Institute since it was founded in 2013 and have been contributing authors for several components of the BRM Body of Knowledge and certification courses. They are currently writing a series of practical, user-friendly books about mastering business relationship management leadership skills.
Lead and Succeed!
Peter Lijnse & Elka Schrijver
Lead The Pack Consulting