In many organizations, business relationship management (BRM) leaders work alongside team managers who are hyper-focused on performance. They track metrics, dashboards are green, and they deliver reports on time. But something essential is missing—empathy. These peers hit their targets, but they shut down when asked to engage more deeply with the business or consider the human side of collaboration. “We met our KPIs.” “That’s not in our scope.” “The data says we’re on track.”
These responses aren’t usually malicious. Often, these managers do what they’re rewarded for—delivering results. But when performance becomes a shield to deflect real conversations, it creates a barrier to trust and progress.
The Impact: Frustration and Disconnection
For the BRM leader, these interactions can be deeply frustrating. They work hard to bridge gaps between business needs and internal delivery, advocating for collaboration, transparency, and shared ownership. But when a peer refuses to engage on anything other than numbers and results, the BRM is stuck navigating a one-sided relationship.
And the business feels it. Business partners may feel dismissed or unheard. They may stop raising concerns or start working around the system instead of through it. What could have been a strong partnership becomes a source of tension and missed opportunity.
You are left burdened with maintaining the relationship, often without reciprocal effort. Over time, this breeds fatigue, disappointment, and disconnection—not just between individuals, but across teams.
The Deeper Conversation: Empathy as a Trust Builder
Empathy is not a soft skill—it’s a strategic one. It’s the ability to understand the context and emotion behind what someone else is experiencing, and to respond in a way that acknowledges and respects that experience. When a manager lacks empathy, collaboration becomes difficult. People feel dismissed instead of heard. Solutions feel imposed instead of co-created.
Trust erodes.
This is where the BRM’s role becomes even more important—not in fixing others, but in helping the organization understand what trust is made of.
Frances Frei’s Trust Triangle offers a clear and compelling framework: trust is built on authenticity, logic, and empathy.
- Authenticity means people believe you’re being real with them, not playing a role or hiding behind policies.
- Logic means people believe in your reasoning and your ability to make sound decisions.
- Empathy means people believe you care about them and their needs, and not just your own objectives.
If any one of these is missing, trust wobbles. When empathy is missing—when someone feels unseen or unheard—trust breaks quickly.
This is why empathy matters so much in BRM. Not because we want everyone to be warm and fuzzy, but because business relationships stay shallow without empathy. Collaboration stays transactional, and organizations miss the opportunity to unlock the kind of trust that leads to innovation, resilience, and genuine partnership.
So, if you’re a BRM leader facing this challenge—working with peers who hide behind metrics and resist connection—know this: you’re not alone. The work you’re doing to bring empathy into the room is not soft or secondary. It’s essential because in the end, performance is stronger, more sustainable, and more meaningful when it’s built on trust.
And trust needs empathy.
Leadership Education, BRM Training, Courses, Coaching and Consulting
Lead the Pack Consulting specializes in business relationship management (BRM) leadership development. Our years of experience in Leadership Management Education, Training, Courses, Coaching and Consulting help us support business relationship management teams and provide them with the leadership skills needed to overcome their challenges. We have provided leadership coaching to business relationship managers, leaders, and teams in a variety of organizations and industries. Since 2013, we have been a registered provider of business relationship management certification workshops and coaching.
Our coaches, Elka Schrijver and Peter Lijnse, have both won the prestigious Arnie Award from the Business Relationship Management (BRM) Institute for their work to embody, enhance, and promote business relationship management knowledge throughout the global BRM community. They have been actively involved in the BRM Institute since it was founded in 2013 and have been contributing authors for several components of the BRM Body of Knowledge and certification courses. They are currently writing a series of practical, user-friendly books about mastering business relationship management leadership skills.
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Lead The Pack Consulting
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